August is not so bad this year

If you all did not know August is not the best month for me. I have people that I dearly love pass away in this month so every year I hate to see August come. This August started out the same as the other years so I handle it the best I could.
I spent the evening with a friend last night and a light bulb went off my love ones would not want me crying for them. They would want me to live life to the fullest because you never know when life is over and I do not want to have any regrets. I know my heart will ache a little more in the month of August but it is time to start living and have fun.
Thank you to my friend who help me realize this.

Its a family thing

It has been a more than a few days since my last posting. I had to go visit family in Uniontown PA. Well let me say it is always an adventure when dealing with my family.
The plan was to go home and have a cookout at my cousin's house. Family was to come down from Pittsburgh and up from NC. Upon my arrival I was informed that there were problems.

1st
The family from Pittsburgh will not be coming due to an illness. (which was ok with me)
2nd
The family from NC would be there due to work schedule, (again this was ok with me)
3rd
The cook out was moved to my aunt's house because my cousin the night before decieded to have a bonfire at the aunt's house and the ashes were still burning and he didn't want to burn down the mountain side. (My aunt lives in the boonies with nothing but trees and bushes)
Last but not least
My cousin who is the sweetest guy on this earth. Who was driving to my aunt's house the night of the bonfire was boardsided by a little old couple. Thank God no one was seriouly hurt. My cousin had bumps and bruises but both cars were totaled.
So needless to say my arrival was the least uneventful thing to happen.

My visit with family was fine but the only family member I want to see and talk to was my cousin.
He has had a hard life and he truly cares what is happening to me. He has problems of his own but he worries about me. God love him....

The picture above is of me on the left and Bill on the right. (note I hate my photos of myself so this is a big thing for me to post this pic but I did this because I want you all to meet Bill)

It's raining today

When you walk in the rain no one can tell your crying.
The saddness times of my life have happend in August.
When August arrives I want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world but you can't do that life goes on.
People say that what does not kill you makes you stronger. Well I am strong enough pick on someone else.

The final chapter in the story

A year has past and the daughter has had hard time accepting her brother's death. Her thoughts haunt her not knowing if what she has been told in the past was the turth or lies. One day she met with her father and she tried so hard to be what he wanted but a argument began and when it was all said and done the father told her the wrong child died it should have been her. At that moment the daughter thought how dare he and she declared no one would ever make her feel that way again.
The daughter went home and her mother knew she was upset and insisted the daughter tell her what was wrong. She told her the story of what the husband's wife said and what had happend with the father.
The mother sat in silence for a moment and the daughter knew this was not a good thing. The mother finally said you and your brother have the same father and you are not to worry about this anymore. The mother got up and went to her car and drove away. The daughter had no idea what was going on as she sat there and waited the thoughts keep coming my god my brother died thinking I was his 1/2 sister. Why am I not good enough. Why would anyone say such hurtful things?
Hours had past and the mother return and she came in and hugged the daughter and said I have taken care of everything it is up to you if you ever want to see your father again. He does not deserve a daughter like you. You are smart, good and kind and don't let anyone tell you different.
Several years had past the mother and daughter continued with their lifes. Then life dealt a cruel blow the mother who all her life work hard and tried to provide for the daughter is told by the doctors that she has cancer. The mother decieded not to tell anyone but the daughter and for a year the mother fought with everything she had but finally passing and leaving the daughter by herself.
The daughter's friend supported in her time of saddness. The daughter thought should she call the father and let him know what happend. She had not talk to her father in sereval years why should she start now.
As the arrangements for the services were being made the phone was ringing all the time and as the daughter's friends would answer the calls so the daughter would not have to deal with small things. The phone rings and it was the father and the friends tried to tell him the daughter was not taking calls but he insisted on talking to his daughter.
The daughter took the call and the first thing out of the father's mouth was why wasn't he called. The daughter sat in silence for a moment and the angry began to increase. How dare he call and start demanding things where had he been all her life what kind of a man would do this to another person. The daughter says how did you find out about the mother's death he said in the newspaper. The daughter said good now you know how it feels to learn from the newspaper that someone you love is dead .
The father started in on what a terrible daughter she was and the daughter said stop. You will never talk to me this way again and because you have been a terrible father you have no right to talk to me that way. The daughter hung up the phone and the next day she bury her mother.
Years have passed and the daughter is enjoying life to the fullest she has good friends and a good job but there is no special someone in her life. Her friends say her heart has been hurt so badly it will never heal and maybe that is true but some friends say there will never be a man that will meet her expectations.
The daughter never talks about her relationships with anyone not even her closest friends so we don't know what her thoughts are on relationships.
What has become of the father? Well he is still marry to the same woman for a total of 50 years. He lost his beloved son, and supposely the only woman he truly loved and his daughter sound like he is alone.
To this day he still states that he did nothing wrong and that we disrespected him. This from a man who cheated on his wife and lied every day of his life.
As the days past the daughter is living her life as she wants and she will keep doing so until its time for her to leave this world.

The End .........

Part 3 of my story

It is 1980 and the daughter has just been told she has a brother. Shock was all she could feel. She knew this boy she went to school with him and she had fights with him. She wondered why her mother kept this information from her. The mother really have an answer other than she thought it was best.
It was decieded that the daughter will meet her father. It was a happy reunion the daughter felt that she now had a dad and they could catch up on things that she missed out on all her life. But it was not meant to be the father stood her up when plans were made. He always told her that nothing she did was good enough and she did not respect him as her father. As the daughter tried to have a relationship with brother that to seem to be a lost cause. No matter how hard she tried something seem to be wrong. One day she was visiting her brother and the father's wife was there and she was very upset and in a heated discussion she told the daughter the only reason her husband claim you as
his was he felt sorry for you and you are only a half sister and your mother was a slut and any man in town could be your father. As her world came crashing down the daughter left the house and never told anyone what was said.
As the years went by she had some contact with her father and brother but the relationships never grew.
Then in 1987 the brother was killed in a tragic car accident and the sister and mother found out by a headline in the newspaper. The mother and daughter called the father and wanted to know what happend and why we were not called. All the father could say was he did not why.

To be continued ............

Part 2 of my story

It is 1963 and our young woman has deceided to meet with the only man she ever loved. She was aware that this was game and she was prepared. As she waited for the gentleman to show up she keep thinking about the baby boy she gave up. She knew it was the biggest mistake she ever made.
As the door of the resturant opens there he was she could not help smile because the feelings she will always have for this gentleman. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. The smile that was on his was just what she had been missing. As they talked about the baby and she looked at the pictures she begins to cry and of course he hated to see her cry.
Well sure enough the affair started again and for a year everything was going well. Our young woman still felt guilty about the affair but she loved him and just could not help the way she felt.
In 1964 the young woman was not feeling well so she sees a doctor and he ran some tests and sure enough she was expecting a child once again. This time she deceided to keep the child knowing that is would be hard but he was not going to get this child.
In late 1964 our young woman has a baby girl. She looked exactly like the father and when the gentleman wanted to see the child our young woman allow him to visit.
As the years went by the brother and sister grew never knowing about each other. The brother grew into a very handsome young man and the sister was raised to only depend upon herself and no one else.
The sister became very cold and unfeeling which was very sad because she had so much love to give but she felt unlove by her father who was never in the picture.
This made it very hard for her growing up.
In 1980 the mother and daughter had to have a serious talk. As the mother sat the daughter down she said I have to talk to you about your father. The daughter said thats ok I know who my father is. It is the man that comes and takes us out to dinner every so often. As the mother sits in shock she asked why didn't you say something. The daughter said I knew one day you would tell me the story. The mother said there is more to the story than you know. She pulled out a picture of a very handsome young man and says this is your brother.

To be continued ..........

Let me tell you a story

It was 1960 there was a young woman all of 21. She work as a secretary in a furnace repair business. One day a handsome gentleman came into the business to deliver some equipment. Upon their first meeting sparks flew between the couple and they started dating.
As time when by the young woman fell truly madly deeply in love with gentleman. The young woman soon discovered that the gentleman who was so caring and loving was married. She ended the relationship and tried to live her life but the love she felt for this gentleman was so strong she deceided to be the other woman. The gentleman said he would leave his wife and marry her but she did not want he to. As the affair continue the wife found out about the affair and seem to accept thing as they were.
The relationship continue a year later the young woman found out that she was expecting a child. Upon learning of the news the gentleman again offered to leave his wife but the young woman would not allow this to happend. In 1961 is was unacceptable for a single woman to have a child out of wedlock and it was illegal for her to have a abortion. She decide to have the child and give it up for adoption. The gentleman would not give up his legal rights to the child and he decided to take the child and he and his wife will raise it. The young woman decided this would be best. The child was born and it was a healthy baby boy. The day when the young woman left the hospital the gentleman pick her up and drop her at her home and took the baby home with him and presented the child to the wife.
The young woman decieded to leave town because the pain was to much to bare. She went to Washington DC and got a job as a secretary with the federal goverment. It has been 2 years and the young woman's life continue on she had friends and job she loved. One day her phone rang it was a voice from the past the gentleman had found her and want to meet her and talk. The young woman said no but the gentleman pleaded with her then he told her he had pictures of the baby. Well what mother would not want to see pictures of her baby. She agreed to a meeting.

To be continue .................

Could you work for this man

I was sent this picture and thought I would share.

If all bosses could look like this.

Spend the evening in a hot tub

Last I went to my friend Michelle's for dinner and a soak in her Hot Tub.
I went for my massage and after that I headed for Michelle's. I stop and got a pizza and upon my arrival we dug in to the pizza and chated. As the evening went on I change into a swim suit and took the plunge let me say I have not felt this good in a long time.
As we sat in the tub and the jets work on my sore back we talked about work and family. I found out I had alot in common with Michelle a little more than thought. As it got darker the glow from the tub lights which were a soft green color the more relax I became.
The evening came to an end sorry to say I came home and had the best night sleep I have had in a very long time. If I every get that big bag of money a hot tube is the first thing I will buy.

Up all night

I came home from work last night and received a phone call from my cousin which was about midnight and the call lasted until 6:30am. I know I disturb my neighbors but sometime I don't care.
I can't believe we talked all night. I thought I would get a couple hours of sleep before I had to go work. Thank God the phone rang it was work telling me that I was on call and I did not have to go in. So I rolled over and went back to sleep.

On Monday I will be going to my friend Michelle's house for dinner. Michelle is a really great person.
I plan and escort group cruises and Michelle and Frank (her boyfriend) came with me on my last cruise and we had a blast. I didn't think I would like Frank but he really won me over. He is the best thing for Michelle.
Michelle and Frank are traveling with me in Oct to Bermuda and I know we are going to have a great time.

I know my blogs are very interesting but I hope to get better at this. Thanks for reading